Meeting with Dr. McDade

On July 2, I met with my pre-med advisor, Dr. McDade. 

We started talking about my MCAT scores. 

He said my scores aren't competitive at most schools and they put me in trouble.

He even called them sub-par. 

Well, I knew they weren't great but he made it sound like they were really bad.

He thinks I should retake it. DARN. 

But I should only retake it this year if I'm certain my score will go up. 

Two average scores would be worse that just one, apparently. 

We discussed schools in Tennessee, at none of which I have a decent chance.

University of Tennessee (3.7 median GPA, 30M, $43,000/year)

East Tennessee (3.7 median GPA, 29O, $48,000/year). 

Vanderbilt (3.9 median GPA, 35Q, $40,000/year). 

Meharry (3.5 median GPA, 25N, $37,000/year). 

I told him of my thoughts of waiting a year. 

Aaron and I had discussed this alternative idea while driving back from Daytona Beach.

We both seemed to like it better and both felt less stressed and calm just thinking about it.

Dr. McDade said to retake the MCAT either next April/May or August/September.

He mentioned a student that applied last year with
 a GPA slightly higher than mine and a 25 who didn't get accepted anywhere they applied.

So through the MCAT, I have realized two things.
One, I have never been merely average and I really don't like it.
It makes me feel like a failure.
Two, I am greatly terrified of failure.

I asked if I have a chance of being accepted anywhere now.
He said the ONLY school I have a chance at is Mercer.
But it's not even a good chance.
More than likely I would be wait-listed..

Dr. McDade seemed to think that waiting a year, and even getting married first,
would be a great idea. He showed me a demographic chart and pointed out
that most applicants that are accepted are ages 22-24.

He told me of a girl last year that was in the same position I am (premed, end of junior year),
who walked into his office and had decided to go to PA school instead of med school.
I didn't even know what a PA is.. 

Dr. McDade said that if I still want to apply this year,
I need to let him know within a week or two
and get an updated personal statement to him for the premed committee soon
because they would have to interview me in the next THREE weeks! 

Whew. That's not enough thinking time for some huge decisions I have to make...

He said many times he wasn't trying to discourage me.
He was just being realistic.
He said I'll be successful no matter what I do
and I'm already a successful person for trying and getting this far.

MCAT scores

The long awaited (and dreaded) day has come. 

My scores were released June 26. 

First, let's remember my practice test scores. 

 The last one I took before my Kaplan class was a 21. 

Full practice #1 and #2 - - 25

Full practice #3 - - it crashed (skipped verbal section) and I didn't redo it. 

Full practice #4 - - 22

Full practice #5 - - 24 

Now, let's recap how I felt about the MCAT after I took it. 

On test day, I did feel ready. 

I wasn't nervous until I was in the waiting room with loud people 

and I was afraid I missed them calling my name.

That was the worst. Sitting. Just waiting.
After being called on, the nerves went away. I don't remember feeling scared.
Mainly worried that I would do something wrong and get in trouble.
There were so many cameras.
And that metal detecting wand!
And the fingerprint scans. SO MANY FINGERPRINT SCANS!
Serious business.
I was given to locker for all my stuff.
 I didn't like the computers we used.
The mouse was difficult to click and it was hard to adjust to that computer.
The keyboard keys also clicked really loud - so glad I had earplugs! 

The physical sciences section seemed somewhat easy..I was surprised.
And suspicious so I was questioning myself more than usual.
I didn't wear my jacket for that section and I was comfortable until the very end.

I paced myself very well on the verbal section
and the passages weren't terribly too long.
I even had time to spare at the end.
The essays topics were manageable.
I was happy that they weren't too abstract/difficult/challenging.
I don't even remember what they were. That's annoying.
I think one was something to do with politicians and the other was about the Internet.
Geez, I really wish I could remember what they were!

The biological sciences section didn't go as smoothly.
For example, one passage referred to something on a chart
and I bet I spent 5 whole minutes searching the chart for it!
I never found it! It just wasn't there.
The pictures were hard to read too, with small words.     

So, I had no choice but to guess on some questions.

I think I actually felt pretty good about the test while taking it.




But... 

I made a 25.

Verbal: 8  

Physical Sci: 7

Biological Sci: 10

My writing sample score is so bad that I refuse to post it.  

I'm not sure how I feel these scores yet. 

Wait.. yes I do!

I don't like them. 

I hate them.

I wish they were higher. 

I know I can do better. 

This doesn't feel real yet. 

I hope nobody asks about them because I don't want to tell anybody.

I want to check the website over and over thinking they will change. 

These scores also brought alot of self-doubt. 

Panic. Sadness. Shame. Anger.

What happened? 

How could I have done so ...average?? 

Am I not good enough? 

People will think I'm dumb. 

What if I'm not cut out for medicine? 

What if I can't make it? 

What do I do now?

My practice tests plateaued at a 25, so getting an actual score of 25 shouldn't have surprised me. But, I am disappointed. After I took the MCAT, I felt decent but also had mixed feelings about how I did. But I was CERTAINLY expecting higher than a 25 at that point. The essay score really bothers me. I remember feeling a little uneasy about it afterwards but I was very shocked to see it was that low. I hate that it's that low. I feel so disappointed in myself. My essay topics did not seem rather difficult or abstract, but I did have some trouble finding a example to use. On my practice essays, I didn't usually have so much trouble finding a example and the scores weren't anywhere near that low. I suppose it was nerves and stress.Not that that's an acceptable excuse. I guess I just choked. And by that point, I was getting tired. 

Perhaps the hardest part of all this mess, is knowing that I've always been an overachiever.
I have always gone beyond what's asked, without much effort sometimes.
Then, I work so hard studying for the MCAT, only to realize I'm ...average.

Anyways, so now I stand at a crossroad. 

Do I retake it? 

Should I still apply? 

Do I have any other options? 

So many big questions. Hard questions to answer. 

I'm the only one that can answer them. And I have no idea what to do. 

So what did I do? 

I scheduled a meeting with my pre-med advisor. 

Everybody Dies

 

Well, I knew this day would come. I thought it would last longer though. 

House MD has officially ended. 

This show has been a part of my life since I was 12. 

I literally grew up watching House.  

What am I going to do with that free hour now on Monday nights!? 

So I believe the last post I made about House was about the fall finale (episode 7). 

 I'm going to pick up toward the end with the last few episodes and the finale. 

We finally meet House's mother and the episode hints that House is sick. 

Later it's revealed that House was only faking and is not sick.

He is still married. Then we find out that Wilson has a KID!?? 

Wow. It's an 11 year old boy named Duncan. 

Wilson seems happy and agrees to let Duncan live with him. 

House admits Duncan is an actor he hired to trick Wilson. 

Park moves in with Chase, eventually bringing along her whole family. 

It seems there is some sexual tension between Park and Chase. 

Later, Dominika leaves House and we discover Wilson has CANCER. 

Oh dear Lord. Noooooo! Wilson can't die!

Irony at its best, though. Cancer doc will die from cancer.

On top of that, Wilson is avoiding treatment and he looks older.

As if that's not enough, we're taken on another emotional roller coaster. 

House figures out that Wilson has been planning suicide. 

And House agreed to help him. 

WHAT?! NO! 

In House's apartment, he tries to scare Wilson out of it, 

but Wilson insists on dying this way, from morphine, instead of helpless in a hospital. 

House starts chemo instead of morphine.

HOUSE DIDN'T DO IT! 

HE WANTS WILSON TO LIVE!!!! 

He even give Wilson his last few Vicodin! Awwww!    

The next scenes are intense, as Wilson gets sick from the high doses of chemo. 

When the two head back to work, House discovers Wilson has bought a Mustang. 

Chase quits and we're left with a cliffhanger about how Wilson's CT scan turns out. 

It seems like Foreman is trying to squeeze in and replace Wilson in House's life. 

Later, House tries to show Wilson how many people he has saved, 

but again, they're actors House hired.

Thirteen visits to talk to Wilson. 

Now we know Wilson's CT wasn't good news. 

House calls Wilson's parents and starts pranking Foreman, causing problems in the hospital. 

House and Wilson have dinner with Wilson's parents. 

House agrees to stop trying to manipulate Wilson. 

Wilson eventually breaks down. It had to happen. 

Poor Wilson. 

The ceiling of the MRI room collapses on Park, Adams, and the patient. 

This was because House clogged a toilet upstairs with tickets Foreman gave him.

House won't tell Wilson he loves him unless Wilson agrees to try to live. 

Then we see House finally release some tension by yelling at Taub. 

House has given up on Wilson. 

 He even tries to strangle a patient. 

No doubt leftover anger and grief towards Wilson. 

Park stops him by whacking him with his own cane. Hilarious. 

We see House really starting to struggle with the reality of losing Wilson

 and Wilson just letting it happen. 

Wilson finally agrees to keep doing chemo, House refuses. 

Foreman finds out that House clogged the toilet that caused the ceiling collapse.

He is going to send House back to jail. 

For 6 months. 

When Wilson only has 5 months to live. 

What a jerk.

---------------------------------------

The finale. 

"Everybody Dies"

Aired May 21, 2012

In the beginning of this episode, I was confused.

It's a burning building and there are bodies on the floor? 

Is House dead? 

Kutner? What is he doing here?  He died.. 

Is Wilson dead too? 

Fire!? 

There's so many questions floating around. 

Foreman agrees to help House postpone jail.

IS HOUSE DEAD!? 

Amber!?!? She's dead too..

Flash to the hospital and House is actually talking to a patient. 

He's a heroin addict. 

Foreman won't help House anymore. He screwed up. 

Back to the building, House is stuck inside a burning building. 

He's alive and he falls through the floor.

Where are the firemen?? 

House is considering suicide. UGH!!!

Back to the hospital, Wilson and Foreman start to worry. 

House has been missing for TWO DAYS! 

Back to the building, STACY shows up! 

Well she's not dead like Amber and Kutner.. 

What's going on? 

House is apparently have visions of and conversations with people in his imagination.

Back to the hospital, House was trying to get Wilson to help him avoid jail too. 

He agrees, then says no.

Back to the building, House thinks he has to die in the fire. 

Cameron appears. She says he should die in the fire as a reward. 

She thinks he should give up like Wilson. 

Back to the hospital, Foreman and Wilson link House to the heroin addict.

They go out looking for him, starting at the patient's apartment. 

Foreman and Wilson round a corner and a blazing building comes into view. 

Back to the hospital, the patient offers to take the blame for House. 

Back to the building, House decides he can change and he doesn't want to die. 

He tries to walk out right as Foreman and Wilson see the building. 

He sees them and they see him. 

Suddenly a beam falls in front of House and then a huge explosion follows. 

Wilson and Foreman don't know what to do. 

The next scene shows a charred body being pulled from the building. 

House is dead. 

The next scene is his funeral. 

 Ohhhhhhh noooooooo whyyyyyy!????!?!??

Everyone from the show is shown speaking, except Cuddy of course. 

Wilson starts speaking but ends up saying bad  things. 

He's interrupted by a text that reads, "Shut up you idiot!"

The next scene is this:

 

HOUSE IS ALIVE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

He faked his own death. 

Wilson  says he could be locked up in jail and lose his medical license for good.

House says, "I'm dead, Wilson. How do you want to spend your last five months?" 

Awwwwwwwwwwww! 

He faked his own death to avoid going to jail so 

he could spend time with Wilson before he dies!!!!!! 

Best ending ever!! 

Then we see other cast members. 

Chase took House position as Head of Diagnostic Medicine. Nice. 

Cameron is married with a baby. 

Taub is with both of his babies.

Foreman finds House's id badge and smiles. 

He had figured it out and probably knows House is still alive.

The final scene is House and Wilson on motorcycles riding into the sunset together. 

 I was so happy with this finale. 

It could not have been more perfect. 

Great way to say goodbye to the series I grew up watching. 

It was full of surprises and I even cried at the funeral scene. 

Well done, House writers! 

 

Vacation 2012

So, this past Friday night, Aaron and I drove back home from two weeks in Daytona, Florida with his family. Yep, TWO WEEKS. It was really windy the whole time. It felt like the wind literally never stopped blowing. It started raining as soon as we got there. For the first five or six days, it stormed every night. Temperatures stayed in the 80s or so with a small chance of storms and rain just about everyday. 

BEWARE: This is a loooooong post.

We (Aaron's parents, me, Aaron, Zach, Linh, and Linh's brother Thanh) left at 5am on June 9 (MY BIRTHDAY), stopping at a Cracker Barrel just south of Atlanta for breakfast around 6:30am. I had whole wheat french toast. We made various stops for potty breaks and more food, and stopped at the Florida welcome center so I could have a glass of free orange juice. We made it to Daytona about 2:30pm and stopped to eat lunch at Aunt Catfish on the river. This was my choice, because it was my birthday. I had fried shrimp that were a little rubbery, a salad that tasted like dirt, and a really good cinnamon roll. After we ate, we headed to the condo, called Towers Ten, and unpacked. We were on the 10th floor. This place was all about security. You couldn't go anywhere without a key or a number code! But they had no WiFi! Aaron and I hit the pool for a little while and then went to Walmart to pick up a few necessities. We ate at TGI Fridays (I had parmesean crusted chicken) before heading back to the condo. 

On the second day, we all went to Walmart to shop for groceries. After that, Aaron and I headed to walk on the beach and for another dip in the pool. We cooked spaghetti and then discovered our condo had a pool table downstairs. We spent many, many nights down there playing pool. Attacked by a midnight craving, Aaron and I led Zach and Thanh on a wild goose chase for a Taco Bell. We finally found one but ate at IHOP instead. I had whole wheat french toast and hash browns while I listened to Zach criticize what I want to do with the rest of my life because the doctors can't figure out what's wrong with him. But after IHOP, we had to go back to Taco Bell so Zach could get Linh some tacos because apparently she loves Taco Bell as much as I do.    

 On the third day, we cooked breakfast (biscuits, sausage, and eggs) and then Aaron and I went to walk on the beach. We went souvenir shopping while Shelby passed a kidney stone. Then we went to Inlet Harbor. I absolutely hate that place. The music is deafening. I was miserable. I had forgotten to bring my earplugs. I was sitting in blinding sunlight (and I forgot my sunglasses). I found a hair in my Sprite after I drank about half of it. We were surrounded by people smoking so I couldn't breathe either. I ordered fried oysters and they were pretty good. After our meal, we realized that they had totally forgotten to bring our salads. We played pool back at the condo again and then went to search for a Redbox with Zach and Linh, with no luck. 

On the fourth day, we were sitting on the balcony and discovered one of our neighbors smokes out on the balcony and we were downwind. Ick! Aaron and I went to eat at Crabby Joe's with Zach. It's over water (on a pier) with wide cracks in the floor, which made me very nervous. I felt like I was swaying back and forth the whole time. We ordered a side of spiced apple rings to try. I ordered crab cakes with a side salad. The crab cakes were really good but the salad tasted like dirt to me again. Aaron and I ended up at Walmart again and then we went to the pool. It was freezing! It was about 4pm and the whole pool was in the shade of the building. We cooked hot dogs and chili that night and I realized I don't really care for hotdogs anymore. I didn't eat much of mine. Aaron and I went shopping again. We found a Barnes & Noble! Aaron bought a new Bible. The NBA finals game was on when we got back and Zach made some really good cheese dip! We played pool while Zach and Thanh watched the game. 

The fifth day was June 13, Chelsey's birthday!! We didn't do much in the morning. We didn't even really eat breakfast. So Aaron and I decided to go to Joe's Crab Shack for lunch and so I could buy a t-shirt. We ended up getting locked out of the car...for over an hour and a half. Aaron got a little sunburned but it was mostly me that got burnt. I had worn sunscreen every day and the one day I don't is the day I needed it so badly and got burnt. Both arms were burnt, and my cheeks and nose were pretty red too. Aaron's dad came to help us unlock it, using wire coat hangers. I made several trips to the beach to see if beach patrol could help us. Eventually, a beach patrol truck showed up and helped us. Finally, we went into Joe's and I ordered crab stuffed shrimp. They were delicious! After standing out in the sun for so long trying to unlock the car, Aaron and I were pretty tired (and dehydrated), so we took a nap when we got back to the condo. When we woke up, they had cooked baked chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. Then we split up; the boys went to the pool room to play and watch a Braves game while the girls stayed and watched Joyful Noise. That was a cute movie. Then we all joined back up and watched Gone... I am NOT a fan of scary movies. AT ALL. 

 The next morning, Aaron and I tried to get up early (8am) to go look for shells on the beach, but neither of us could get up. Louie and Val came with Haley about 10am. In all the mess, we lost a set of keys. It was hard enough sharing two sets between so many people, and then we lose a set! Shelby took Haley to the beach. Linh and I came down later, quickly realizing we were stuck outside with no keys. We couldn't get back in the building and couldn't get into the pool area. So Linh hopped the fence! I tried to hop it to and I got yelled at by this old man sitting on the other side of the pool. Thankfully, some lady came and let us in and Linh was telling her about us losing a set of keys. She helped us look around at the pool for them but we didn't find them. The old man looked like he was trying to take our picture with his phone and then was was calling someone. I just knew that he was tattling and we were going to go to jail or get kicked out or something, but nothing ever happened. Aaron and his dad had gone to a piano store and came back saying they were going to buy a new keyboard for Aaron! Later that afternoon, we ran into trouble with the office. The lady at the front desk told us we have too many people staying in our unit and some will have to leave (the limit is 8 people and we had 10!). Aaron's dad was not happy about he situation. The realty company they used knew how many people were coming and didn't say anything about a limit. He said they will never use that realty company again and will never stay at that condo again. Good thing. That place was too uptight. So many rules and people were snobby and rude. Then we all went to Crabby Joe's and actually had a waiter named Joe! I ordered crab cakes again, but they weren't as good as before. There was this old lady there in a t-shirt and a bikini bottom...ewww! Granny butt! That was entertaining. We ended up at Walmart, yet again! Back at he condo, Haley had a small tent and I played with her inside it. We played with paper dolls and then we colored. That night, Aaron and I went to Olive garden to use a gift card I had gotten for my birthday. We ordered chicken and shrimp carbonara and split it. I ordered the little desert thing with strawberries, cake, and white chocolate. It was heavenly. On the ride back to the condo, we hit a few more souvenir shops. 

On the seventh day, some man came to install WiFi for us. Linh showed us her wedding binder. We went with Zach and Linh to the Cracked Egg diner. Aaron and I split a Belgian waffle with strawberries. We stopped at the post office so I could mail some post cards home then we headed to Walmart to start our own wedding notebook! We officially started wedding planning on this vacation!! We did some more shopping. Justin and Niki came about 2pm and checked into the hotel next door. Everybody went on a (dolphin) boat tour, except me and Aaron. We sat on the balcony instead while he played piano. Then we all went to inlet harbor again. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THAT PLACE. It was torture. The music was even louder than before. I remembered my sunglasses and my earplugs, but it didn't make a difference. The music was so loud that my ears were physically in pain, even with the earplugs in the whole time. I ordered the crab cake sandwich and wasn't to fond of it. The more I ate, the less I liked it. Aaron and danced a little, which was fun, but I was soooooo happy when we finally left. I will never go back to that place. Zach and Linh left that night at 3am. 

On the eighth day, Shelby passed another kidney stone. Aaron and I went to the beach for a little while. The beach patrol had a red flag up. Today was the first day it was a red flag (every other day was a yellow flag) and it stayed a red flag until we left. Then we headed next door and sat with Justin and Niki at their pool. We sat there a while and played word games with them. I was wrapped up in a towel so I didn't get burned. The lady sitting beside us eventually started smoking and I had to move away. They wanted to go shopping with us. We ate at Taco Bell first and then we went to so many different stores. By the time we got back, we were hungry again! We ate some pizza that Aaron's parents had picked up. We went to Cowlick's for ice cream. I had two scoops on a waffle cone. That was ALOT of ice cream! We ended up gong back to Justin and Niki's room with them ti play catch phrase. I noticed my nose and cheeks were starting to peel.

The next day was Father's day. Everybody went to eat at the Cracked Egg again but left me at the condo... My face was peeling more. We spent about three hours at the beach. The rip current warning/risk was very high. We stopped at the pool before heading back up to the room. There were all these little babies that could swim better than I can. When we got back, I discovered a bad heat rash on my legs and Aaron's back was sunburned so bad. They went our for BBQ...yuck. Aaron and I didn't go. We went to steak n shake instead. I had a single with fries. We stopped at he Krispy Kreme next to Steak n Shake and got an assorted dozen. Later that night, I noticed there is  red area on my back. We must have missed a spot with the sunscreen.

The next day, I noticed my ears were burnt too. Justin and Niki went to the beach really early and found tons of big shells, a sand dollar, and a piece of coral. He let me have the sand dollar. Aaron and I went to the mall and wandered around til we found the food court. We had chick fil a. That night for dinner, they all went to Inlet Harbor again. Aaron and I didn't go. Instead, we went to Boondock's and I finally had peel and eat cold shrimp. We were going to stop and ride the ferris wheel but we couldn't find any parking. We went to Congo River putt putt instead. They had baby gators you could feed. I ended up losing..badly. The final score was 54 to 46. We stopped at IHOP on the way back so I could eat again. I had whole wheat french toast, of course. My heat rash and Aaron's sunburn were both improving. 

On the eleventh day, Aaron and I started the morning by going to the beach and the pool, which probably was a bad idea. My heat rash was worse and was now on both legs instead of just one. Shelby said she woke up with a sore throat. Later that afternoon, we found out we were getting fined $100 for my towels hanging on the balcony to dry. That place is so ridiculous. I was ready to go home. Aaron's dad said he wants to go home Thursday, but Shelby said no. We went to Sloppy Joe's with Justin and Niki. I ordered tilapia fish tacos. I didn't like them, but Aaron did! Niki had fried shrimp and said they were really good. After dark, the four of us went crabbing. We found several. I even caught one! Aaron picked one up. We didn't see any turtles. I stepped on something really sharp in the sand. Then back in the condo we discovered a weird sunburn on my feet. I was red only UNDER the flip flop straps.

I woke up the next morning at 8am because my foot was hurting so badly. It was really red and super sore. I couldn't walk without a limp. My heat rash was still really itchy too. Aaron and I went to the beach about 9am to look for shells...but we only found lots of seaweed and a few small shells. We met up with Justin and Niki at Point Park, the end of the peninsula Daytona is on. The water was really rough. The waves were big and rough and just kept coming, one right after another and people were surfing in those waves! Crazy people. Most of them were kids. One kid wasn't even half the length of his surfboard! He looked like he was about 5. We didn't find any shells there either and we were getting hungry so Aaron and I left to go to Denny's for late breakfast/lunch. I don't think I have ever been to Denny's before. I ordered pancake puppies (like hush puppies made of pancake batter served with syrup) and the moons over my hammy sandwich (egg, cheese, ham) with hash browns. Then we went to shop at Bealls outlet. When we go back to the condo, Aaron and I both were tired and crashed to take a nap. Justin and Niki left about 2:30pm and drove on the beach before leaving and got stuck in the sand! For dinner, Aaron and I decided to go to Sloppy Joe's again. He wanted fish tacos (Yes people, Aaron ate fish and liked it!!) and I wanted fried shrimp. It was the best fried shrimp I had eaten the whole time we were down there. It was so good. We both really liked that restaurant. Back at the condo, we put peroxide and neosporin on my foot because it was hurting so much. Aaron and I also discussed leaving on Friday instead of waiting until Saturday. I had trouble falling asleep because of my foot hurting. 

We tried again the next day to get up early (5:30am) to go look for shells, but it didn't happen. I noticed my other foot was sore from limping and favoring my left foot so much the day before. We ate at Taco Bell again and stopped by a pet store to play with birds and these little tiny puppies. Aaron and I decided that we would leave Friday. I took a nap back at the condo and then we went to Charlie Horse for dinner. I had peel and eat cold shrimp again. They were really big shrimp! On the way back to the condo we stopped at the Bealls store and Cowlick's. I had one scoop of mint chocolate chip on a waffle cone. We packed most of our stuff back up to make packing easier the next day. 

Finally, on our last day, we managed to get up at 5:30am and go look for shells. We found tons of shells but not really any big ones. My foot was really hurting, probably from the sand and baby powder getting on it. We went back to sleep when we got back to the condo for another three hours and got up at 11:25am. Oops. We wanted to get up at about 10am... But it didn't take long at all to finish packing and we loaded the car in one trip. We ate at Aunt Catfish one more time on the way out because I really wanted some fried oysters. Oh my goodness, they were really good, too. Aaron tried them and said they were okay. He tried some tilapia too and said he still likes it. We left Daytona at about 2:30pm. The ride back was alot of fun. We didn't turn on the radio the whole time. We started working on our wedding guest list and then stopped to eat at Lake City, FL at a Steak n Shake (after making a wrong turn and heading south on I75 instead of north). My foot was causing me some much discomfort. It had constantly hurt and ached all the way up to the ankle since we left Daytona. Aaron let me drive and the pain mostly stopped, so I drove almost the entire way home. In the car, my ear started peeling. It was so cool. It all peeled off in three big pieces! We stopped at a chick fil a in Macon to eat again. We stopped a few more times because of my tiny bladder. We got back home at 12:45am, which was about 10 hours. The whole trip was 558 miles. My foot (and ankle) was swollen when I got home and had trouble sleeping again. That's probably why it was making me so uncomfortable in the car and why it felt tingly and numb when we stopped at Steak n Shake.

Overall, I did have fun. 

The last few days were rough, though. 

I was itchy from the heat rash, 

and limping because of my foot, 

and Aaron was burned.

We were almost bored, too. 

I don't really like Daytona, with the cars driving on the beach. 

I wouldn't choose to go there on my own. 

But I would definitely go again, if invited.

The sand was clean but the waves were rough.

My favorite restaurants were Aunt Catfish and Sloppy Joe's.

MCAT? Check.

So this past Thursday, I took my MCAT.

 I feel like my Kaplan class helped a great deal, specially with test anxiety. The practice tests were helpful because the real MCAT seemed so much simpler than the Kaplan practice tests.

My score before Kaplan was 21. The first Kaplan full length practice test was a 25 (PHY 8, VR 9, BIO 8) with both essays scored a 5. I was very excited my score went up four whole points!! But then my second full practice test was also a 25 but the section scores were shuffled (PHY 10, VR 7, BIO 8) with essays scores of a 4 and a 2. I was incredibly surprised by the physical sciences section, considering after I finished that section I felt awful about it!!! The third full length was a joke. It froze and then completely skipped the verbal section and I couldn't go back and redo it! So I did not get an accurate score; with only two sections, it was a 16 (PHY 7, BIO 9). Kaplan reset the practice test so I could retake it and my essays were lost as well. I did not have times in my study schedule to retake it, so I just pretended FL3 never happened.  The fourth test was a disaster. My score went down. Yes, it went DOWN to a 22 (PHY 8, VR 7, BIO 7) with a 3 and a 4 on the essays. I was heartbroken. The week before my test day and my score wet down. I was terrified that I was psyching myself out and it was taking a toll on my score. The fifth practice test was nerve-racking. Days before my test day, I was exhausted and sick of studying. Mix in the fear of my score dropping even more and I was a train wreck. It was a 24 (PHY 9, VR 7, BIO 8) with a 5 and a 1 (it was horrible!) on the essays. So my score did improve from FL4, but overall it was not improving and still not where it needs to be. I was aiming for a 30 and my score seemed to creep downward the more I studied. At that point, I was losing hope and considering other possible career paths in the back of my head.

This is how I felt the week before my MCAT.

I was studying one Kaplan lesson a day, starting May 2 and ending a couple days before my test day. Waking up at 9am each day (even on weekends), I would start reading the review notes, which usually was at least 4 chapters and take notes on them as well. Then I took the chapter quizzes. After that, I watched each lesson on demand, taking notes of course, and took all the topical tests and subject tests. I was consistently staying up until 1am or later to finish it all, but still getting up at 9am and literally studying constantly all day.

This has been my life for the past month. All day, every day.

I do think my Kaplan class helped SO much. But it was crazy expensive. You get a million resources and all these great books, but I do not think it's worth the boatload we paid for it. 

On test day, I felt ready. Partly because I studied so much and partly because my head felt like it might explode if I try to study anymore. I wasn't nervous until I was waiting in a room full of people waiting to be allowed to check in and get started. That was the worst. One guy there said, "It should be illegal to have this many tense people in one room." Interesting. I didn't feel tense or scared. Just a little uneasy about it all would work and afraid I would do something wrong and get in trouble. It felt like jail. Cameras everywhere, metal detectors, and they took my picture and fingerprint scans. Serious business. As if you're not stressed enough already for the test, the security measures alone are enough to scare you and elevate your blood pressure. They gave me a small locker to leave my stuff in. I didn't like the computers we used; the mouse was difficult to click and hard to adjust to. The keyboard keys clicked really loud - so glad I had earplugs! 

The physical sciences section seemed somewhat easy..I was surprised. And suspicious so I was questioning myself alot more than usual. I paced myself very well on the verbal section and the passages weren't terribly too long; I even had time to spare at the end. The essays topics were manageable. I was happy that they weren't too abstract/difficult/challenging. The biological sciences section didn't go as smoothly.   

I will know my scores at the end of June. I'm scared. I actually felt pretty good about the test while taking it. But from my experiences with practice tests, I learned quickly not to trust my gut feeling. We'll see it turns out!

This is how I felt after my MCAT. Words could not express the relief

The Time Has Come

My MCAT is tomorrow!!!!
TOMORROW!!!!

Thoughts..

I'll be taking a second full practice test tomorrow! After my score going up four points, I am seriously worried about this one. Maybe I'm worried that somehow my score will drop back down!! That would be horrible. I wonder if that's happened to people before? I just kinda assumed these scores are like stairs; you just keep climbing higher. But I suppose it's possible to trip, fall down stairs, go crashing down.... 

I have to stay positive. 

I can do this. 

My score improved four whole points and I know it can improve more. 

It will improve more!! 

You know, these self pep talks are getting old, 

and I'm just starting my intense month of studying..

Look for an update about my score on full practice #2 

sometime tomorrow or Friday hopefully!